Text: Salla Pätsi
Translation: Sirkka-Liisa Leinonen
I was waiting for mail from the editors of online Päivämies, wondering that the staff must be very busy not to have time even to acknowledge the reception of the blog post that I had recently sent! Finally, I went through my sent emails, but could not find the text I thought I had sent. It was not even in the drafts section.
Hmmm...
I am quite sure I wrote that post and sent it. I clearly remember writing it on my tablet, sitting in my bed, and sending it right away. It was night, of course, because I am most creative at nighttime. I did not write a draft by hand because I was pressed for time and wanted to send it off as soon as I got it done.
Where on earth has that text file gone? Or did I not write it after all? Maybe it is in the cloud, where so many things seem to be these days. Maybe, one day, it will come down as gentle, caressing rain that makes my hair go all curly, or as the first snowflakes of the winter, bringing comfort to the lonely people who are tired of social distancing and long for hugs. Or maybe it will console those who feel exhausted by their work and other burdens, their need to constantly care for others, and their desire to have just some little time for themselves. As far as I remember I wrote something like that in my text, pondering that burdens and difficulties are not divided equally.
Now I have bulk candy and some nice herbal tea to help me write. And the kind of exercise book that kids use at school. So my text will stay there and not disappear like a dream in the morning! Although I am at my most creative at night, it is probably good to stay awake if I want to get something done.
Lively imagination is a source of great joy. I speak to myself, so I do not even need someone to talk to. And traveling is really easy – I can go on fantasy trips anywhere I want.
But I must confess it is fun to talk to real people once in a while. My summer job at the museum allowed me to meet interesting people and to discuss many kinds of things. It was like going someplace far away, though I only needed to run across the yard to the neighboring lot. And after the workday I was often dead tired. As if I had really gone on a trip. I wonder if I am a social introvert after all?
I often feel that I need to deal with so many things that I can only see a short distance ahead, like one of our hymns says. All things seem to press down on me. Things come into my dreams and even nightmares. I feel like crying for no reason at all. But when the day is over, I find the comforting things that are so near: the beautiful colors and smells of the bog where cloudberries grow, the berries I have picked, the soft and steamy warmth of our sauna with my best friend sitting next to me, and the dip in the cooling water of the pond. A short moment away from the bustle of weekday life is like a minivacation. After that I feel serene and happy, content with what I have right here right now.
I have been listening to recorded summertime services. It has been so good to hear the familiar voices of my uncle and godfather and other relatives who are speakers. They have spoken comforting and refreshing words to a person inclined to irritability. The familiar voices give a special flavor to the speeches because they arouse so many memories. I find that human voices are really personal. Although there are so many of us, each has their own voice! And it is easy to recognize voices even after years.
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