Maanantai 22.1.2018
Taivaat julistavat hänen vanhurskauttaan, kaikki kansat näkevät hänen kunniansa. Ps. 97:6

Blog: A turning point in life

in English 3.1.2018 13:25 | Päivämies-verkkolehti
I am driving in northwestern Lapland, heading further north. A prayerful thought passes through my mind, ”let this trip be refreshing and otherwise rewarding”. I am exhausted after weeks or hard work charged with powerful emotions. I have been orienting and guiding my successor now that I am leaving my part-time job as SRK’s music producer. This job has provided me with a regular income and certain predictability of life, but I am leaving it and starting as a full-time entrepreneur.  
It has been a painful decision, and I feel uncertain about my future. Although my part-time job has seemed valuable and significant, it has been too hard and challenging to develop my small-scale enterprise on the side. The solution – to give up one or the other at some point – has been looming large for a while. Now that I have finally made the decision and the plan is about to materialize, I am eagerly waiting for the change on the one hand, but would still like to postpone it on the other.

Doubts jostle for attention in my mind: Am I making a stupid choice? Is this a selfish solution? Will my decision be blessed by God? Will I get enough air under my wings? Will I have enough talent to work as an entrepreneur?

Yet, somewhere deep down at the level of indefinable emotions, I feel confident that my decision has been good and wise. I feel that I am being guided in this direction. The past weeks have also clearly shown that someone else’s gifts are now needed for the work that I am leaving behind.

With these experiences and thoughts, I believe I can somehow identify with Abram, who was told by God: “Go out from your land, your relatives, and your father’s house to the land that I will show you.  I will make you into a great nation, I will bless you, I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.” (Gen. 12:1–2.)

I do not know how Abram got that word – whether it was through an internally experienced feeling or a more concrete message. Anyway, he heeded the advice and began to act without any knowledge about his future. When Abram left, he had to abandon everything that was safe and familiar: his home, relatives, friends, and daily routines.

Abram undertook his mission believing and trusting in God’s promises. I wish I could find that kind of faith in myself, even just a tiny bit. Or even something resembling it, like a child learning to bike without training wheels or learning to swim without touching the bottom.  Or like a young bird leaving its nest to take wing for the first time, believing and trusting that it is possible to fly.  

I drive along. The scenery gets more and more rugged. In the evening I arrive at the parking site and continue on foot for another hour to a small cabin. I spend a couple of days by myself, fishing and hiking on the fells. Then I am joined by a few friends. We enjoy each other’s company and humor, marvel at beautiful nature, share memorable fishing experiences, discuss personal matters, enjoying the freedom from everyday worries and feeling refreshed. We all feel grateful about the good time we have together. On my way home I suddenly remember: Didn’t I ask for something like this? I guess I did… Thank you…

Text: Juha Hakulinen
Translation: Sirkka-Liisa Leinonen

You will find the original Finnish blog post here.

Toim. Toivo Määttä

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